Female who immerses herself in the black metal scene finds that it’s more than what she bargained for

5 years ago (Actually 2 years ago due to conflicting Facebook posts and what she tells people at concerts), on-again/off-again Metal fan Shelby Wingate who goes by the Facebook name of Shelby “Satanicon” Windir and the Instangram handle of WomanOfDarkDesires666  had a MASSIVE turning point in her growing tastes as a fan of Metal. Drawn to by countless documentaries on Youtube, an aging handbook from the late 90’s about some bands from Norway and the shock tactics that haven’t exactly been shocking in 20 years, decided she would jump in the deep end of the pool of the black metal scene only to come to the shocking realization that she doesn’t know how to swim properly.

“OMG guys, look at how much of a poser I was. UGH! I look gross af in this pic! My brows look like shit! “

But she didn’t think before she committed herself to this.

She thought it would be cool to do. Trying to impress everyone around her despite the fact that everyone around her couldn’t give a shit less about what music she listens to but in reality actually were a bit taken back from the fact that their friend who 3 years ago had a good IT tech job and really nothing that would make her listen to a rather extreme form of music that promotes core pillars of general negativity, anti-aramaic religious beliefs, even dodgy national socialists symbols. They noticed her over the past couple years she would make FB friends with sketchy males and females who post rather sketchy stuff that flood her FB newsfeed.

“I can totally date this dude and my Hilary Clinton-supporting friends and family won’t object to him. Nothing out of the normal about him. He’s TOTALLY hawt!!!”

But that didn’t matter.

Shelby thought that if she took the necessary steps to immerse herself, she would be accepted as one of them, part of the cult brethren…even though nothing has exactly been cult since late 2003/2004 when she was then rockin’ out to Slipknot and The Black Dahlia Murder on that particular summer’s Ozzfest. So LAST year she got her very first vinyl player ever and started collecting vinyl. Not actually listening to said vinyl, just ordering, and taking pictures for her Instagram account. She thought she was on the left hand path towards obscurity….even ordering that MGLA shirt off Hells Headbangers, cutting it up and posing in total alternative model form. Complete with Pastel Goth and Kat Von D make-up she adored! Which she got a good number of approximately 1.2K likes and having guys fawn over her push-up bra angle while having numerous hashtags in her IG post which included #lit #faded #evil #blackmetal #hell #norway

Get yo nails done guuurrlll! :pats weave on head:

But it didn’t stop there.

She then took herself to a local tattoo parlor and got a Crowley-esque Thelema star tattoo on her hand and started claiming that she was a feminist but not before she shaved the side of her head in Christy Mack fashion and posts how much she likes Burzum and Forteresse all while agreeing with Invisible Oranges and various other blogs that Black Metal elitists are nothing but hateful, misogynistic, alt-right, neo-nazi, Phil Anselmo fanboy trolls who are just trying to cover that that they are LITERALLY Nazi-sympathizers and OMG actually Trump supporters!

Gothic decor and exclusive edgy clothing brought to her by Ikea, Urban Outfitters and Blackcraft Cult.

But it didn’t make her question herself why she was doing all of this.

After moving from state-to-state in hopes of finding her now own tribe of like-minded individuals, she started meeting her FB friends face-to-face IRL at shows. After 4 years, or 2 years, again due to conflicting times she specified the number of years of her trying to convince everyone in hopes of gaining acceptance and kudos, she started realizing that the people she made friends with were not rather socially open or accepting and all-around sketchy and awkward but who cares that some of these people had shaved heads and Norse runes on their leather biker vests? I mean she was TOTALLY into Amon Amarth that one year of college at Berkley, California and she LOVES Nordic culture and would never dare to think of supporting any kind of band that was a NSBM band because how can one listen to an artist and they have opposing views? Right? Right?

But it didn’t end there.

After some time went by, she constantly changed her look to appeal to the next hot dude with a Watain backpatch on his denim jacket even tho she was sending nudes to a chubby fat dude wearing a Der Sturmer baseball cap. She even started to get a stick up her ass towards fellow females in the scene whom she thought she was besties with even though they would never buy her drinks or share their prescriptions of Xanax with. Not that she felt uncomfortable around 6 ft tall dudes that looked like Jef Whitehead or the 5’6 dudes who lifted weights to Black Witchery, she just wanted to party! She didn’t take in the fact that she was immersed in a culture where the majority of her female ‘friends’ (Both online and IRL) had septum piercings and daddy issues…but she could TOTALLY relate to the issues of her fellow females because HER Daddy got her a Toyota Camry instead of a BMW as a college graduation present so she could visit Portland, Oregon to catch that one Archgoat show. That was a very stressful time in her life. She knew she was hot shit so much that she knew in the back of her head that she could out-smart any poser death metal dude who wore Blood Incantation shirts to FIN shows that didn’t know the difference between a random riff off the latest Void Meditation Cult and a blastbeat off the latest Kerasphorus debut. She was ‘cult’ and nobody could tell her otherwise even if said same people had been into this music and lifestyle for the past 10-15 years!

“I absolutely LOVE my new Nyogthablisz backpatch! My brows totally be #fleek! #norway #hell #truenorweigianblackmetal “

That was until before she started pissing everyone off.

She didn’t know how it happened. But all of a sudden she started getting claims and word through the grapevine the she was supposedly stealing the look from fellow females in the current city that she was living in. Goddamnit, she had paid her dues and she was an American! She deserved to be that one bad bitch that every dude fell over, or at least all the guys wearing Revenge beanies who would sex text the same 5 girls in the scene at one time while telling her that she was a “teutonic goddess sent by the ancient gods to eradicate the filth and trend whores from the face of Odin’s earth!” I mean, there WAS that one time she dressed extra slutty and sucked off a dude in the bathroom at Maryland Death Fest while his actual girlfriend was outside watching Mystifier kill it live. Whom she had be admiring because she had a Goatmoon tattoo…even though she didn’t know who the fuck Goatmoon was.

It was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

And then came her time to stand up for herself on social media and proclaim her realness by typing and posting an elongated declaration of how she wasn’t going to be accepting anymore friends. She had had enough of the falses and trendwhores and fakes and no more was she going to tolerate their double-standard female shaming and their ugly repulsive boyfriends they were defending even though those same dudes she sent nudes to all had various drug and alcohol problems and were relationship-wise severely handicap and completely hindered socially. She declared her as an isolationist in one hand while making it known on Facebook with a status update that got about 63 likes 2 hearts reacts and 5 LOL reacts. No more dramatic lurking scene queens and dudes trying to get vag pics sent to their aging 4S Iphones with the touch screens covered in McDonald’s french-fry grease and powerdery white residue from crushed Roxies who were mutual friends with Blake Judd of Nachtmysitum noteriety on social media. No more would she be accused of stealing another person’s identity! No more would she have to ask or beg for drinks to be bought for her at shows because she was a strong, independent female whom with the help of her West Coast feminist friends assured her that was as black metal as they came. She was standing up to the hatred, misogyny, homophobic, antisemitic, and she declared that she stood with trans people by destroying her copy of “Death Mask” by Lord Mantis and would take it to the front to fight against the trolls that flooded the comments section of the internet.

But not before she purchased the latest Death Worship LP on her Iphone 8 while chillaxin’ in her bed with the latest Amy Schumer Netflix standup playing on her PS4 in a pair of Love Pink sweatpants. She NEEDED that die-hard edition on vinyl, guys!

“Let’s do some Black Yoga before going to the Deafheaven concert. I’m going to put on Ghostbath in the background for us to listen to. You can’t appreciate the light without understanding the darkness; Namaste!”