It finally happened! I got accused of being a Nazi-sympathizer! YAY! Now I can happily and rightfully join the millions of other people who are accused of such yet have zero in fucking common with actual white surpremacists or those that actually do sympathize with those inbreds. Because that’s all that needs to be said in 2018 is the dreaded “N” word. And no not THAT other dreaded N word, you cis-scum! Dat’s racist!
I’m actually surprised it took this long for someone to accuse me of being a Nazi-sympathizer or have any sort of inclination that I would stand up for fascists or a political party that exterminated 6 million. And if you think I’m going to stand up for the other party that slaughtered and starved 10 million of it’s own fucking people, you’re even dumber. Because the truth I have neither been for either or which is based on the fact that I come from a large military family that fought against the Allies (That includes Germans and Japanese), the Vietcong(a.k.a. Communists) in Vietnam, and even engaged in intel/psych ops against the KGB intel officers in the 80’s during the Cold War. I myself personally enlisted in the U.S. Army in 2005 to continue the family tradition of serving one’s country, but that got snubbed due to an injury during training. That’s an entire different story and neither here nor there. Let me back up to this incident where my words got misconstrued as this human being that would sympathize with some of the most heinous human beings that ever walked the face of the planet.
The topic was brought up in a Facebook Group (why I still partake in these, I don’t know, I’m fucking 35 and have grown too big and old for this shit ) and the topic was a picture of some neckbeard that had a screenshot of a quote that said neckbeard typed in an attempt to look hard:
Scared. 2 hard 4 me.
Now upon seeing this pic I immediately became fucking depressed. Because if this is the best we have at defending the ideal of democracy and the U.S. against some skinny-fat dweeb with a fuckboy haircut that is nothing more than a Trump supporter, quite honestly we are in deep shit as a nation. If you look at the pic in the very top left hand corner, you will see that it’s not an actual Swat Team-style shotgun; It’s a fucking Airsoft gun. Me seeing this was another example of how I feel that people in 2018 are drinking too much digital courage. Meaning if this Jack Black-looking dork were to meet an ACTUAL white supremacist, he would more than likely hesitate, stutter and end up eating his food through a straw for the rest of his life. Which again I am not talking about the Richard Spencer-looking fuckboys who are pissed that they were given the pity handjob; I’m referring to the hardcore Prison lifers who joined the Aryan Nation to defend themselves. I’m talking about the dudes who are fucking 6’2″ 250 of pure-jacked-up prison muscle from doing time in general population for the past 20 years. Basically this dude:
Yeah, I would not want to meet this guy in a dark alley. Just saying. I don’t care how hard you claim to be.
And so then I said that roughly 90% of Americans would not have the ability to murder another human being. That same percentage I argued have more or less never been in a physical confrontation in their life. That leaves us with a small 10 percentage which (after you do the math) is still a massive amount of people I have lumped together. This percentage includes a handful of select groups. The first group I put into this percentage would be those who have been in or engaged in combat, or survived combat. Basically Military who are either currently active duty OR certified veterans. But even most military do not serve on the frontlines. A lot of them are what are known as REMFS which is short for REinforcement MotherFuckerS. Basically that what grunts refer to anyone who isn’t hard. But even REMFS have to go through the SAME combat training and be taught how to kill without hesitation. The same training as infantry be it regular, Airbourne, OR the elite rapid-deployment units (Rangers, Green Berets, Seals, Special Ops, Recon, etc). Another group I included were those athletes that engage in hand-to-hand combats (Boxing, Ju-Jitsu, etc.), and athletes that engage in physical contact sports (Football, Wrestling), ….THESE people are taught how to engage and be aggressive even in the name of sports. They are taught how to take physical abuse and survive and above all, win. The OTHER group of people I put into this percentage and even this group is divided into two mini-groups: The first being the alphas. The macho motherfuckers. Yeah you know the one. The stereotypical dude that has a restraining order against him, drives a Ford F150, has a chin strap and listens to Five Finger Death Punch and drinks a shitload of Bud Light. The other are the sociopaths. This includes serial killers, those with mental illness who snap one day and go postal, gang members, etc. You combine this massive, swirling, chaotic vortex of pure dripping testosterone with NO FUCKS GIVEN and you have someone whom I could see actually instigating or engaging in a legit fight.,
Which brings me to my next claim. My next claim I said after I mentioned that massive percentage of people who haven’t been in a fight, that everyone including the stereotypical pink swoopy-haired LGBT “soyboy” that conservatives love to give shit to in comment section are all of a sudden getting this huge fake bursts of online digital courage. Meaning I do NOT see these people engaging or making the first move to go out and fight or kill an actual white surpremacist/Nazi as pictured above. I don’t see them all of a sudden growing huge balls of fucking iron and steel and dropping everything at a moment’s notice and taking another human being’s life. Even if they felt lucky on that particular day, they would lose. Again, let’s compare both the stereotypes I am discussing here that got your favorite blogger tagged as a Nazi-sympathizer:
The Aryan Brotherhood
I’m not even rooting for the meth addicts above. I’m going simply by lifers hardened up in the prison system who have either abused themselves or each other in close-confinements to the point of dehumanization and stripped of damn near every basic human right versus a bunch of soft skinny-fat liberal males who probably couldn’t even do 5 push-ups and have basically had a pretty easy life. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know or see the outcome of this particular incident.
After I said the buzzword “soyboy”, in came the online pile-on. Which all of a sudden I heard the infamous “nazi-sympathizer” buzzword tag. That was I when I was trying to point out that majority of people are only SAYING “Kill Nazis” just on the intent for likes and for their internet gold star for the day. I even said that I have no objection with some white supremacist or Nazi being murdered. But the fact that I challenged the idea of instead of just saying “Kill Nazis” and actually backing up what you say online and doing it without a single hesitation at the drop of a hat got your favorite blogger painted and misconstrued. I asked what is stopping said random person from taking another human beings life. This was the reply.
That’s the excuse? A pretty weak one if you ask me. Probably weaker than the fact that I got called a Nazi-symapthizer. If you want to know my personal history and how I feel about Nazis…..let’s hop into the Nocturnus time machine and turn the clocks back all the way back to when your favorite blogger was in the 4th grade. That was somewhere around 1991-ish. Up until this point I had no idea what a Nazi, let alone the Third Reich was. Even though my Mother’s side of the family is German Americans, there was no talk of it. Until the day I saw a pic of a swastika. Being a dumbass 4th grader with no idea, I tried to draw a swastika in one of my school text books. My teacher saw this and told my parents. That night, my mother sat me down on my bed and showed me a book full of pictures of Jewish holocaust victims and concentration camps and wanted to know if I knew what I was doing. Being an ADHD 4th grader that did not have the emotional or mental maturity or ability to take in what all of this meant, I nervously started laughing. I did not understand. I was a child. At that same time my Mother fucking snapped and started beating the living shit out of me. About after the first few seconds of what felt like a complete descent into hell, my father comes running into my bedroom and jumps on the bed, grabs her hand, and says to her in a really low growling voice “Do. NOT. Hit. My. Son. He doesn’t know about this yet.” After which what seemed like this weird awkward moment between my parents being my own father saved me from an ass-beating. That right there started getting the gears turning.
Fast forward a few school grades and I an in the 8th grade. This was around ’96-’97. I am taking remedial classes because I was a fuck-up then. Basically I was taking remedial history and math because I was more interested in reading the latest Metal Maniacs issue. By now I had grown up and knew exactly what a Nazi was and stood for. This was one of those days where I grew balls of steel and pulled a white wine moment a good 20 years before Phil Anselmo got berated and instigated. The instigator for me was my remedial class teacher. He was not only a teacher, but he also worked at Hungry Howie’s(a local pizza fast-food chain) and he did youth services for his Baptist Church which he was a Deacon at. I was the lone metalhead and in 1996/1997, being a metalhead was confused with being goth which automatically got you a shitload of flak. Well my Remedial Class teacher took a special interest in me whenever he found out that I was raised as a Roman Catholic. Being a young, angry, metalhead on top of that….well, you could just see his opportunity to swoop and heal this young boy of the demons from that loud rock n’ roll music and being indoctrinated into that godforsaken satanic church. I knew there was going to be problems very early on. So for damn near an entire semester I got selected out of my entire remedial class and got picked-on. Damn near everything I did resorted to him talking about the sins and horrors of rock n roll and how evil Catholics were and how they were with the Nazis and this and that. About 2-3 weeks before I left the 8th grade, I had fucking had enough of his nit-picking and excuse finding with me. So about the tenth millionth time that he reminded me how evil Catholics were, I pulled a Phil Anselmo, stood up to his face and screamed “WHITE POWER!” and threw a roman salute in his face damn near knocking his glasses off. Most of my classmates were either African American, OR Hispanic. They knew why I did that. They didn’t say a damn thing to me. Why? Because my classmates who were African Americans or Hispanics knew who the real wannabe Nazis were: the fucking redneck middle school kids who wore Tommy Hilfiger, wore confederate flag belt buckles, and listened to Master P while constantly saying the “N” word. Basically the OTHER white kids who were saying “I want to kick my own ass for reasons unknown.” Everyone also knew why I did that because they knew that teacher was LOOKING for an excuse. My teacher was provoking and instigating me for damn near an entire semester. Would I do that again being a 35 year old male? Absolutely not. Do I regret doing that to my fuckhead of a teacher who berated me for an entire semester? Fuck no.
Fast forward to an older but still young version of your favorite blogger: I was 19-20 years old and living in downtown Lakeland. To make a long story short, my best friend at the time and I had seen pieces of White Supremacist pamphlets filled with actual racist cartoons about African Americans, Hispanics, and Jewish people that had some pretty vile shit drawn being strewn across Lake Morton. After seeing this my friend and I looked at each other and went “Where the fuck did this come from?” About that same time, we both saw a car drive past us on the street and on the back had a huge swastika flag draped over the back seat like it was a comforter. That was the ONLY time I have legit seen any sort of actual white supremacist. Was I scared? Absolutely. Was I going to pick a fight? Absolutely not.
Fast forward to a few months ago where I’m talking to my Uncle David in New Roads Louisiana. He is telling me about my family’s(mother’s side) German heritage. He told me for the first time that the Millers were originally German Jews who’s last name was originally Müller, but was changed when they originally came to the U.S. to escape persecution because they were German Jews. Staying in Germany meant a death sentence so they, like a lot of other German families, anglicized their last name to appear plain ol’ baseball and apple pie Americans and to escape persecution. Oh yeah and he explained WHY the Miller’s were mainly Catholics. Again it had to converting to Catholicism to escape persecution. Throw in my Father’s side of the family which where Scots-Irish/Black Irish, that’s why I was raised Catholic. Has that changed anything about my love for myself or my family? Fuck no.
I tell you these things because I am a 35 year old man with a clear conscious. I know a Nazi-sympathizer when I see one. I am not. I never have been. Oh yeah sure, you could find an excuse like my Satanic Warmaster tattoo on my left bicep, but you would be grasping for straws at that point. Look into my music collection? Oh shit, you found a fucking random Burzum album! OOPS! I enjoy black metal. Oh shit! The dude is from the south! THAT’S THE RED-HERRING! He’s a fucking redneck!!!! YESS!!! This asshole isn’t from Brooklyn, or Portland, or L.A., or Chicago! No, he’s a rural slack-jawed yokel in a swing state who’s state voted for Trump! WE FOUND THE NAZI!!!! YAY!
If there is anything that I have learned from all of this is that if I were to apologize(for reason beyond me, I don’t think deserves any sort of apology), it wouldn’t be enough. My family heritage wouldn’t be taken into consideration. The fact that my best friend whom I refer to as my brother who is Jewish would be overlooked. The fact that my step-cousin who is African American/Domican mixed who him and i have had Thanksgiving together with both of his and my family in his hood after my step-father died would have blind eyes turned on. The fact that my mother wears a goddamn Star of David necklace every single day or has a bumper sticker that say “Stand With Israel” on the back of her car wouldn’t hold water. The fact that I have slept with both black females and latinas (when I was a single man) probably would be consider bullshit and thrown out the window because I am as honkey as they come. I could give you a million reasons but in this day and age of online outrage culture, it simply isn’t good enough. I’ve learned the only thing that has changed ever since my days of being a 21 year old male first enlisting in the U.S. Army is the internet. It’s not the outside world aka REALITY that has changed. It’s the online digital world where it’s nothing but vapid, blank screens and everyone all of a sudden acting like they are fucking born to get hard. I’ve also learned that people rather engage in the act of online pile-ons and witch-hunts(of whatever kind) and anything else that would continue this vicious cycle of mass-hysteria and paranoia for the simple act of having a “Gotcha!” moment in order to be seen as virtuous and pious and pristine. Just for a few fucking likes on Facebook. Rather than sitting down and talking to one another and discussing why this and that like civilized human beings and trying to come together peacefully instead of calling each other names in the attempt of one-upping. Oh shit did I just pull out my very own liberal pacifist card? Gotcha! Case in point, if you’re looking for a boogey-man, you’re going to find it, but don’t let it blind you to the point where you are throwing accusations of nazism or nazi-sympathizing around.
May be I am showing my age when I say I remember when being called a nazi or a racist had serious inclinations and repercussions. If someone was a Nazi then….they WERE a fucking Nazi. These days anyone who is slightly an inch right of Bernie Sanders is called a nazi with no disregard. Nowadays, if you disagree with someone or look at things from a different view or standpoint, all someone has to do is scream that you’re literally Hitler and end of discussion. They won the argument, you’re a piece of shit, Antifa is being called upon, and the world keeps turning and progressing into something more fucking stupid and not a single ounce of hope is gained from anything.
If you’re looking for an apology of any sort, go piss up a rope. No apologies will be given for anything I have said in my past, or now.