From the Plutonian planet of the Yuggoth comes Tchornobog’s self-titled album.

Can we get one thing out of the way first? The album artwork.

maxresdefault (1)
That. Fucking. Eye.

It just downright creeps the ever-living blue fuck out of me. Now that we have that out of the way, let’s get right into the music of this bad-boy. A one man band created by Ukranian Markov Soroka, Tchornobog isn’t exactly a band that is going to be re-inventing the rules of Black Metal. But what he does with this debut album is a hellish combination of Deathspell Omega and Napalm Death. That’s about as close as I can come to describing this outer worldly monstrosity.

The self-titled album only delivers 4 tracks. The first is fucking 20 minutes long. I have heard some people say “Spare me the long intro”, but for me I’m a patient kinda dude when it comes to music like this. Especially if I’m listening to this at 12:30 AM in the middle of the night whenever my fiancee is asleep and all the animals are curled up. It gives me the chance to fully take something like this in. Even the song titles alone; “I: The Vomiting Tchornobog (Slithering Gods of Cognitive Dissonance)” and “IIII: Here, At The Disposition of Time (Inverting A Solar Giant)” take a good amount of concentration to let your imagination get its gears turning properly. At least for me that seems to be the case.

The music contained in the album itself has many peaks and valleys much like what is shown visually on the album artwork. For such a huge album it’s a lot to take in. Tchornobog has the ability to appeal progressive/outside-of-the-box thinking metal nerds. I don’t say that as an insult seeing how I’m a sucker for albums such as “Operation: Mindcrime,” “Nothingface,” “Human,” etc, but this one is a bit more challenging. Tchornobog‘s self-titled album is a constant-changing riff terrain that demands your full attention. Mind you this is one of those albums that does automatically hits you right off the bat, but it’s still an album that I know will take many repeated listens just to get the mapped-out feel of the almost alien-like landscape. It’s a fucking maze of riffs ( and torment too!). One second you get the blastbeats, the next you get a really doomy breakdown, etc. But the way Mr. Tchornobog goes about arranging all of the riffs and compositions is actually a good contrast to say Germany’s own The Ruins Of Beverast. Where TROB are more doomier, Tchornobog adds in the extra little bit of Death Metal elements here and there. Not a lot, but enough to make the music more beefier and dissonant in some parts.

For all intents and purposes, this is mood music. I don’t see this album inspiring an ever-growing legion of fans who are going to be praising Mr. Soroka to ad nauseum any time soon. More like this is an album for the individual to sit back, and unlock doors in the mind that leads them to wherever. As space-y and nerdy as that sounds, that’s all I can really used to describe it. All and all, it’s a creepy fucking album, complete with crawling eyes and maze-like riffs.

Tchornobog‘s self-titled album is now available on Fallen Empire Records for digital release. I-Voivdhanger Records will be doing a limited edition CD pressing. Other than that, you can follow the one man band at his official Facebook page or his official Bandcamp page.

Twisting, turning, and writhing: New jamz from Plaguewielder!

0005045117_10

The name Plaguewielder should not come as foreign to the reader, seeing how I reviewed their rather excellent 2015 debutSuccumb To The Ash” album last year. Keeping in touch with the band via online social media has not exactly been an issue, as I honestly can’t really think of any other band that sounds like them. Blackened Sludge is a sub- genre that has yet to hit it’s explosive period. It has only recently started to come into it’s own within the past several years as a sub-genre with bands such as Wolvhammer, Lord Mantis, and Coffinworm. This is a good thing because this gives Plaguewielder a massive one-up in the creativity department as far as expanding their sound, while also helping forge possible new paths. This could force said sub-genre to discover it’s own potential to become a much bigger beast.

A few days ago, Plaguewielder dropped/posted a new song on their official Bandcamp page called “Writhing In Mental Torment. ” Previously to getting my butt over to listen to it, I had been spending that entire day reviewing and listening to the new Loss album. Before clicking on the ‘play‘ button, I almost slightly hesitated, mostly due to the fact that the new Loss album made me want to die a slow rotting miserable death (in the best way possible). Would the new Plagueweilder song distract my attention away long enough to take notice? Surprisingly, it did. The song “Writhing In Mental Torment” was the complete polar opposite in terms of tempo and song arrangement. It’s shockingly rather short and up-beat with a blackened Punk-like spirit to it. Think of Fenriz playing an off-kilter drum beat cover of “New Rose” off the first The Damned album but in a total urgent “Die or get the fuck outta my way“-type fashion. Combine that with a crusty, oozing, sludgy breakdown towards the end. How this couldn’t motivate more bands/musicians who want to possibly go down this route or play similar styled music to take initiative to bring new things to the table is a question that will be answered best in time. Check it out and Hails reacts only brodies!

What happens when you don’t do your homework on bands? You fail. Plain and simple.

At the moment I am dealing with some rather personal issues so pardon me for not being in the most cheerful of moods. Anyway, this thing made it’s rounds and wound up all-over my Facebook newsfeed as usual. It was right after I woke-up after my 5th consecutive night of only running on 4-6 hours of sleep so upon reading this just brightened my fucking morning in the usual manner. To make a long story short; a false entried and got burned and died in the usual neurotic easily-triggered manner as usual. Someone who flat-out admits that they do not do their homework prior to going to shows in which if I was their personal teacher, I would flat-out give them an ‘F’ for showing no type of initiative to learn and for incomplete work. Rule of thumb: I do not give good grades for incomplete work. But enough about my logical and realistic set of standards, let’s get to analyzing and dissecting this weak person’s article of the usual crybaby routine.

Concerts are my safe haven. No matter what’s going on in the world or in my life, I know I can go to a concert and everything will be okay. I always feel comfortable at concerts. It doesn’t matter if I’m at a Satanic black metal show all alone… a concert is a concert and I always feel safe and at home.

Until last night.”

Uh-oh. Watch out! Triggerings ahead!

The show started off strong. Daigoro, the sole local band on the bill, warmed up the crowd with their homegrown death metal. It wasn’t a perfect set and it was all too quick. I started to wonder if it was even worth their time to set up and play, but all in all, it was a great way to start off a night of music that was sure to melt my face off.

Abigail Williams was the second band and first band of the tour package to play. These guys were great. The reverb on Ken’s (the vocalist) voice added a little something to help these guys stand out in a sea of black metal purists. The songs were brutal and powerful and got the crowd banging their heads. Much like Daigoro, Abigail William’s set felt all too short. I wish they had kept on playing because, out of all of the bands that played last night, I definitely liked them the most.

Ok, I’ll easily back Abigail Williams. Plus any band that has guitarist Jeff Wilson in it’s line-up get’s automatic hails from me. The dude has done a lot of great stuff from Wolvhammer, Chrome Waves, Le Chant Funebre, Liar In Wait, Nachtmystium, etc. The dude is a G, son.

What happened next was nothing short of a nightmare and something I never wish to experience EVER again.

I knew nothing about Shining, the next band to take the stage. Being me, I hate to research bands. I think it’s fun to go to a concert without knowing what’s about to happen. I don’t want to judge a band until I have to and am typically pleasantly surprised by what I find. Last night this whole idea of being surprised backfired and it backfired hard.

This is probably the same type of stupid idiot who went hard against “Ghostbusters” male fans this past summer and criticized anyone who gave a negative reaction to it’s god-awful trailer as being too judgmental towards it’s gigantic dumpster fire flop at the box office. But that’s none of my fucking business :sips tea:

Shining took the stage and, instantly, something felt off. I couldn’t explain it but I did not have a good feeling at all. The music started and I tried to shake the feeling. At first I didn’t mind the music or the show. The sound had heavy doom metal influences but singer Niklas Kvarforth (a.k.a. “Ghoul”) had a voice that made the music much more interesting than other doom/ black metal bands I had heard. Even though I didn’t mind the music, something still didn’t feel right. There was something about Niklas that just rubbed me the wrong way but I couldn’t put my finger on it.

That’s when I noticed exactly what I was watching and that feeling in my gut was validated.

Guess you should have done your homework.

Before I go into detail about what happened last night please note the following:

  • I am not naive, I know that the international black metal work is much darker than your typical metal scene. I get that it’s supposed to be dramatic and am all for it. I love watching the theatrics of bands like 1349 and Behemoth. I  find it interesting but there is a line between theatrics and complete inappropriateness.

 

  • I know that not many females attend these shows but if you’ve been following this blog you may be able to tell that I’m okay with being one of the few females at shows. It doesn’t intimidate or scare me. I can easily hold my own in a mosh pit of metal heads and have never once felt threatened or scared.

 

  • What I saw last night was disturbing so what I am about to write is also disturbing. You have been warned.1349? Behemoth? Mere child’s play. Besides Behemoth haven’t been black metal since their 2nd album, but I’ll admit, that’s a bit of a moot point. I have been warned? LOL, ok go ahead. I’ll humor you lady.”There was blood dripping down Niklas’ arms and onto the crowd that was in the front row throughout the set. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen blood on stage before. I’ve seen band members get nailed by the head of a guitar or bass creating a nice big gash and the subsequent blood that comes from said gash. Accidents happen and there’s nothing you can do. But this was no accident. It was clear that Niklas had slashed up and down his arms very recently letting the blood flow down his arms.Being someone who went through a nasty bout with self-harm, this made me feel super uncomfortable. I am super proud that I no longer have the urge to self harm and consider myself a “recovering cutter”. Seeing Niklas scratch at the fresh cuts to make them bleed more disgusted me. He was glorifying something that has taken me years to try and recover from.

    Niklas was grabbing members of the audience with his arms in a chokehold of sorts leaving a trail of blood behind. At one point, he allowed audience members to rub up and down his bloodied arms. The members of the audience seemed to take this as an honor of sorts. They had giant smiles on their faces as they played in Niklas’ blood. I didn’t understand how I seemed to be the only one utterly disgusted and sick from watching all of this happen.”

    TRIGGERED. TRIGGERED. TRIGGERED. As someone who suffers from major depressive disorder and prone to anxiety attacks and other non-favorable mental health issues, I can totally understand the process of bloodletting and understand why he does the things he does. I’ve never been a ‘cutter’ myself although there was that one time as a teen where I carved an upside-down cross into my left arm(It was the 90’s, we did shit like that to prove ourselves as teens and men ok? Deal with it). And as someone who has been into this kind of music since I was a teen, for me it is total catharsis. A void where I can channel my own personal negativity into and have that emotional connection with the rest of the world. And as far as Niklas goes, fuck man….excellent show chap! Hell I would have practically hailed and frothed at the mouth for him to do more or even worse. I like a good GG Allin-esque performance and in 2016 there ought to be more so. Let’s keep shoveling through this pile of shit this delicate flower left on the proverbial bed shall we.

    As if that wasn’t enough, at one point Niklas grabbed a female that was standing in the front row and slammed her face into his crotch. I’m not a gung-ho feminist  in any way shape or form but this made me irate

    Not a feminist? Could’ve fooled me lady.

    “This blatant display of sexism made me want to get up on that stage and punch Niklas square in the face. The worst part of this? The woman encouraged the act as she wrapped her arms around his legs to get even closer to his crotch. Again, I’m no feminist but I have far more self-respect than to let a man do that to me. If anyone tried to do that to me they wouldn’t succeed in anything other than broken bones and bruises.”

    Throughout the set Niklas would grab drinks from people in the crowd, have a sip without permission, and then give them back. All I could think was, thank God I drove tonight so I wasn’t drinking and if he tried to that to me I would have splashed the remaining drink right in this prick’s face. He also seemed to have a habit of grabbing people’s phones if they were out so I avoided taking my phone out of my bag except to grab a couple pictures.

    At one point, Niklas jumped into the crowd to slow dance with the woman who was standing directly in front of me during an instrumental portion of a song. I stumbled backwards to avoid getting his blood all over the front of me. I tried to blend into the small group of guys that was behind me but it didn’t work as I fumbled with my footing. My eyes met Nicklas’ and my hands instantly formed a fist. I realized that I was the only female near the stage that he had yet to get his nasty, blood soaked hands on. I was ready.”

    OMAHGAWD! I wish this lady would have attended a Mentors show or a GG Allin show during his prime. What she has described is fucking vanilla. I’ve been to Hardcore shows where people get crowdkilled and completely annihilated in the pit.

    I’m not one to fight. Sure, I know how to throw a punch and throw it well but it’s a skill I pride myself on never having to use. Last night was the closest I have ever gotten to throwing a punch at a concert. I can deal with people being obnoxious in the pit and I can deal with the drunk chick spilling her drink all over me. Hell, I can deal with someone puking on me feet… I won’t throw a punch. Last night, after witnessing everything that had gone down with Niklas I about lost my cool. My fists were clenched and as soon as he was within arms length it took every ounce of me to resist throwing that first punch.

    After the set, Niklas took off his shirt only to reveal a giant Reichsadler (fancy word for the Nazi eagle emblem) tattoo (minus the swastika). I wanted to throw up. I quickly pulled my sleeve down on my sweater to hide my star of David tattoo. I felt threatened. Was this really happening? How did I find myself here?

    Just fucking stop right there you ignorant bitch. Where the fuck is your outrage over Slayer using the Wehrmacht Eagle as their logo and several of their songs being references to the Third Reich and the Nazis? Also my best friend in the world is Bavarian Jewish descent. Him and I crack Nazi jokes all the time and laughs his ass off and even he can appreciate stuff like Hate Forest and Drudkh. Not to mention several of my friends in the Miami scene (who are all Hispanic/Cuban/Puerto Rican btw) who are all huge fans of NSBM. And I even have a multi-cultured/multi-colored adoptive family. Hell, this past week I ran down with my step-brother who is half black/half mexican and went and scored some weed in the projects. So riddle me this; what the fuck is up with you?

    I wanted to cry. I wanted to curl up into a ball in the corner and just cry. I wanted to rush out the door but at this point I was too scared to really do much of anything. I had already posted something online about my opinion of this band but that was before I saw the tattoos. What if someone had seen my post… were they going to follow me to the car? I know the door guy, but he was too busy to walk me to my car at that moment.

    I stood there. Stunned. I couldn’t believe what I had just seen. I couldn’t believe I stood there through the whole set. I couldn’t believe anything. I felt like I was having a nightmare… I was stuck in a horror movie dream only this was real life.

    WHAAAAAAAAAAA! Cry me a fucking river. You had every opportunity to just simply leave, but you took the moral high-ground to stay and still watch the performance only to blog/cry about it? Fuck outta here with that bullshit.

    The show went on. Origin played and they sounded great. Same with Belphegor with their scary face paint, incense, and everything else but I didn’t pay attention. I had been super excited to see both Origin and Belphegor but after witnessing Shining, I really just wanted to go home and cry.

    Again, cry me a fucking river.

    I should have done my research before the show last night. Feel free to google “NiklasGhoulKvarforth” for yourself but be warned that what I just described to you is really nothing new for this guy.

    Dear Belphegor, Origin, and Abigail Williams– Shame on you for letting this band tour with you. I have lost all respect for you guys because you didn’t take a stand against Niklas’ behavior and let him continue on this tour.

    Dear Triple Rock Social Club– I love your building and your staff but shame on you for not stopping the show. I have put so much trust into you guys and you blew it last night.

    Dear Swordlord (the promoter)– Thank you for bringing such amazing international bands to Minneapolis but shame on you for not screening them first.

    I go to a concert damn near every night. I’ve seen hundreds of international black metal bands and, sure, they’re creepy and give me nightmares but I have never felt unsafe at one of their shows.

    I was scared for my safety last night.

    I don’t feel right today. I’m irritated and crabby and it’s because my safe haven was ambushed last night.

    Fuck you Shining.

    No. Fuck you lady.  And fuck your complaining about being irritability and crabbiness. The only reason you are acting like a child is you got introduced and saw an actual black metal show (Behemoth doesn’t even fucking count), and you finally saw what black metal is. I love it when Special Snowflakes all want to be ‘black metal’ but when it comes to black metal shit, they fucking can’t simply deal with it. This is a music genre that is based and built upon negativity at it’s core; satanism, arson, murder, suicide, self-mutilation, misanthropy, darkness, and just about every other form of negative human trait and characteristic. If you can’t deal with that, just go to a Deafhaven or a Myrkur show. You writing about your unfortunate experience on your shitty blog (MXPX? Seriously? Fucking weak!) is EXACTLY what bands like Shining want negative and horrible reactions from idiots like yourself and by the looks of it, after them of doing this black metal thing for almost 20 years now, looks like they succeeding. Congratulations on only helping to fuel their career with the great publicity you not only provided them but excellent material for me to counter-write about.

    Lesson learned here today folks: DO YOUR HOMEWORK AND RESEARCH BANDS BEFORE SEEING THEM LIVE. I can guarantee you that future concerts like this will be less triggering.

    14088411_10205422859289442_6285071229543044699_n

    FUCK OFF SJWS AND FUCK OFF TO PEOPLE WHO DON’T GOOGLE BANDS BEFORE THEY SEE THEM LIVE.