Aging Groove Metal Musician Loses His Shit and Acts Like A Child Part Two.

It’s been about two years since I originally wrote “Aging Groove Metal Musician Loses His Shit and Acts Like A Child” happened. Life has gone on. I became a father and a husband. And I have alienated myself from any stupid online super secret club purposefully. And I’m perfectly happy with everything that has happened in my life. So this morning I woke up, grabbed my Dunkin Donuts coffee to get the day rolling and my brain functioning as usual. Cranked-up the ol’ laptop and lo and behold whomst graces me with their all narcissistic personality and habitual shoot-himself-in-the-foot-isms? None other than my favorite rapper of all-time, Robb Flynn from Machine Head. To make a long story short, he is again for the NTH fucking time trying to revitalize his career by re-imagining himself to fit the current trends all while he himself alienates whatever previous fanbase he had in order to stay in the spotlight. But this time, Robb Flynn forgot to be woke and now….he exposes himself as the hypocrite he has more or less always been.

Let’s rewind the clocks back a year and a half ago: I would say he somehow came to terms with his ACTUAL roots when he showed up for the Killian On Command tribute show for Sean Killian where he actually sang and played guitar with his brothers in none other than Bay Area Thrash legends, Vio-lence. And he did a damn good job being on stage singing and playing alongside Phil Demmel to “World In A World.” I thought for a slight moment this might be some sort of instance where he made peace with his past and may be he could carry that peace with him into the new upcoming chapter of Machine Head. Wishful thinking on my part and a lot of other Vio-lence fans. All that was was a slight break of actual sanity for Rob before going back to the downward trajectory of Machine Head a.k.a The Robb Flynn solo project. Basically the downward trajectory of Robb Flynn goes as such: “Catharsis” was a cold turkey. People hated it. Said that it was far worst than “The Burning Red.” Then half of his band members leave him. He whines about how “he’s got a lot of anger” in some fake-ass crocodile tear-filled cry for sympathy but everyone knows that his ego is insufferable. Time goes on and he announces the 25th anniversary of “Burn My Eyes” and gets ex members back in the band and yadda-yadda-yadda….basically he’s doing the same shit as always, it’s just a different day of the week. He then releases a single-only song called “Do or Die” which, depends on who you ask, sounds fucking terrible. Musically it’s same ol-boring half-ass wannabe-thrash/groove metal that personally does nothing for me. I aint even going into how or why I dislike it because that’s not the focal point of this blog post. Nope, what is the focal point is that Robb Flynn cannot take criticism. None. He reacts to whatever criticism about his music in a very immature and child-like manner. It’s not like he hasn’t lashed out before because he has. He lashed out at Decibel Magazine for a scathing review of “Catharsis” and now he’s criticizing “trolls” and “haters” for their criticism of the new single “Do Or Die.” He posted a lengthy Instagram post which…lol….is amazing in all of it’s wannabe-macho non-politically correct form which is funny because this motherfucker is supposed to be “woke” and sooooooo anti-Trump? Let’s take a look at what this old man screamed at the sky about:

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As a woke PC Twitter idiot would say, YIKES! LOL. Holy shit Robb, I mean you’ve gone full retard before, but now you’ve gone past that. You’ve gone full on Robb Flynn. The first thing that came to my mind when I read this was I take it this is Robb trying to go back to himself being 25 years old. The dude is 52 years old. For the past handful of years he’s been full-on modern day politically correct manner of being against anything and everything Trump stood for and even tried to do the in thing which is be apart of callout culture which he called out Phil Anselmo for throwing a Roman Salute and screaming “white power” (him being the opportunist that he is, didn’t say anything about the people heckling and egging Phil on). But now in the process of revitalizing his career(or what’s left of it at this point) is ol’ Roooooob is going so far into his past that he is now trying to revitalize his very own self from roughly 1994 minus the cornrows. This guy is even using the same NON-politically correct language he ranted against in “Catharsis“. And it’s something I expect from someone as fucking fake as Robb Flynn: corrupt modern day bullshit neoliberal political hivemind stances that GAVE everyone in the US Trump as president. Look I can sit here and argue all day about the PC crowd, but if you’re going to be liberal and politically correct…do so Robb. But to sit there, rant about Trump, Phil, and anything you have an issue with and say words that (!!!TRIGGER WARNING!!!) imply sexism, homophobia, and misogyny then all you are doing is giving actual lefty liberal type people a BAD image. Yeah I actually agree with BabyMetal being for pedos. Fuck that. But again, if you’re going to call yourself a liberal, be an ACTUAL liberal; punch up, don’t punch down you false motherfucker.

Another thing he rants about is the band Dope. Why are you throwing them under the bus? And why are you ashamed of being associated with Nu-Metal? I mean you’re the dude that more or less happen to give us that shit in the first place in the early-to-mid 90’s. Baggy pants, cornrows, Bio-Harzard breakdowns, wiggerish hand movements. THEN you traded in the groove metal of your first two albums for the Nu Metal-inspired and influenced “The Burning Red” AND “Supercharger.” And again….why throw Pantera under the bus? Why throw Lamb Of God under the bus? Everything about this rant you wrote just screams “I WANNABE TAKEN SERIOUSLY AND BE SEEN AS HARD, SON!” Reality check Robb: you aint hard. You’re not politically correct. You’re not going to be placed on the Mt. Rushmore of Metal anytime soon. And uh…oh yeah here’s a flyer from a band that you shared the stage with btw.

“Trump and online trolls sad mean things that made me feel icky so I’m going to throw other bands and artists I’ve shared the same stage with under the bus!” – Robb “Greatest Rapper In the World” Flynn

It should be noted that the drunk gentleman Robb Flynn called-out who threw a Roman Salute and screamed “White power!” at the top of his lungs un-surprisingly and non-ironically became the bigger man that Robb Flynn still to this day wishes he could be. In the words of Robb Flynn that he lyrically penned on the song “Block” from the debut album “Burn My Eyes“, and I quote, the more things change, the more they stay the same.

Hey Robb, cheers! :sips back on a cool crisp sparking glass of vintage white wine from 1939:

Aging Groove Metal Musician Loses His Shit and Acts Like A Child.

:wiggerish hand movements intensifies:

No less than roughly 24 hours ago, Guitarist/Singer Robb Flynn of Machine Head pulled a Suicide Silence and threw a decent-sized online childish tantrum on Machine Head’s official Facebook page. Why am I talking about this? Because it serves him right. It serves him right after his entire career of confusing and duping would-be metal fans into believing his music was ever good in the first place. Or that he was the second coming of groove metal. Or that he had any sort of talent that extended past the first two legendary Vio-lence albums. Let’s take a moment to look at what this overgrown poser cried about shall we:

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First thing’s first: I cannot extend my congratulations and hails enough to Decibel Magazine. The gentleman there are real supporters of the underground and have a good record of calling out bullshit when bullshit appears. The fact that Mr. Jeff Treppel had the courage to call out Machine Head for what they are is a shining light in these biased times. For too long toilet paper magazines such as Kerrang and Metal Hammer and any over-the-hill Euro rock/metal magazine has hyped the fuck out of Machine Head for some unknown reason that even I cannot understand. The fact is that Machine Head have only been popular in Europe and Robb Flynn’s behind-the-scenes coattail riding and grandiose dreams of being the next tough guy behind the mic is a shtick that even long-time Machine Head fans are starting to wisen the fuck up and be ‘woke’ about.

Second and this is directed at Robb Flynn; If you cannot take any sort of criticism then just stop releasing music. Also don’t bite the only hand that feeds you and gives you any sort of magazine print coverage here in the States. Your Euro circle-jerk may have blown your Californian ego up in the 90’s in the UK, but you have a terrible history of not only trend-hopping, but doing every goddamn thing you can to gain the same level of mainstream success as whatever goofy mainstream metal band is currently having. Reacting the way you do to any sort of criticism reveals your true insecurity not only as a musician but also towards the very music you create. When Pantera were huge, you jumped on top of of those groove metal riffs and bastardized them with terrible Biohazard breakdowns. When Nu-Metal got big, you have bleached blonde liberty spikes and wore a baggy orange Jnco jumpsuit and look straight cut out of Insane Clown Posse minus the make-up. When Nu-Metal died and that god-fucking awful New Wave Of American Heavy Metal got popular on the Ozzfest/MTV circuit, you grew your hair back out and started claiming to be buds and an influence to bands such as Trivium and Killswitch Engage. Then when that died down you resorted to the good ol’ fashion “I’m REAL Metal” shtick.  Now after loosing that verbal round with the ragin’ Cajun frontman of Pantera, Mr. Phil Anselmo completely cold-cocked you back into 1998, back to your Nu-Metal era minus the image. What’s next Rob? Going to start citing Djent/Deathcore and make an album inspired by that? That’s one trend you haven’t tried to capitalize on. Yet.

The saddening thing is that Robb Flynn IS capable of writing good solid music. He WAS the guitarist of the Bay Area band Vio-lence for fuck’s sake! Let it be known for the record that as far as US Thrash Metal bands go; Vio-lence were one the only US bands next to Dark Angel, Demolition Hammer and Morbid Saint that could stand-up proudly next to the global greats such as Kreator and Sepultura. That’s one thing I will never take away from Robb was his riffs on those first two Vio-lence albums. Don’t believe me? Listen to this sample cut from the face-fucking Thrash Metal riff-o-rama beast of a debut album:

Riffs. Lots of them.

But ever since leaving Vio-lence, he has done nothing but sully and soil of all his god-given talent. Trading riffs in for whatever was flavor-of-the-month in the 90’s/2000’s. And for a guy that worshiped the ground that Pantera walked-on, he sure picked the wrong fight with Phil Anselmo of all people. At this point, the Decibel Magazine album review of “Catharsis” is spot-on. And it’s poetic justice to a whining overgrown crybaby man dude in his 40’s/50’s. It’s just deserts for a gentleman that thinks he’s perfect, and pious that uses every opportunity to open his fucking mouth much like Corey Taylor. And truth be told, I personally couldn’t be happier. For someone to be surrounded by a bunch of Yes Men in his camp, it’s refreshing to hear someone speak the truth about not just Robb Flynn but Machine Head even if it IS the unpleasant truth that Robb Flynn does whatever he can to stay relevant and charge his fans $45 for a fucking Affliction-looking t-shirt at concerts.

Closing statement: Robb Flynn should take the energy that he used to throw a tantrum and put that to help promote the fundraiser/benefit concert to his former band mate and vocalist Mr. Sean Killian in Vio-lence. That would be more positive than throwing stones in a glass house and accusing other lead singers as racist or whatever.

Hey Robb, cheers mate! :sips white wine: